I’m not keen on cars. My knowledge in this particular field is typical to my sex – I know cars have got four tires and one steering wheel inside, and it is useful for getting from A to B. But then my knowledge ends. I don’t know how cars work. Probably by some magic or witchcraft. If it died on me, I would undoubtedly leave it on the street and went home by a taxi.
Therefore, it is not a big surprise that I’ve never watched a single Top Gear episode. And I can safely say I will never do so. Programmes, where men drive cars at top speed and scream all the way, are as entertaining to me, as tea at my least favourite aunt’s tea party. I’d rather have my stomach tested by an endoscope.
I’ve got nothing against this type of entertainment. It’s simply not for me. I don’t feel comfortable around cars. I know Top Gear is vastly popular and Mr. Clarkson is considered a big star. I saw him in one of Q.I. episodes and he seemed a funny sort of a person. I even laughed at some of his jokes. So when I saw his face on a book cover, I decided to open it and see what it was about.
I fell in love the moment I read the first sentence. I spent several minutes bursting into laughter every few seconds. I had to buy the book because people started to look in my direction with disapproval. Apparently laughing in a bookstore is prohibited by some law. It’s been a while since I read something really entertaining. Well, a good detective book is highly entertaining – a juicy murder always puts me in a good mood. However, you cannot laugh when you read about some poor wretch’s mushed face or mutilated body (unless it was somebody you didn’t like).
I paid for the book, took it home and now I have a real life crisis. I neglect my duties and lose my beauty sleep because I cannot put the book down. I stay up all night and read. My family goes hungry, the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes but I don’t care. I just sit comfortably in my favourite armchair cackling like a crazy person. What can I say? The man makes me laugh! I love the book and I have become infected with a Clarkson mania to such an extent that I had to buy all of his other publications.
Jeremy Clarkson is entertaining, funny, witty, sarcastic, bordering on cheeky. No subject is too small or too sacred for him, and no-one is safe from his sharp tongue. His books are far from being politically correct, but I like this kind of straightforwardness. He writes about cars, politics, politicians – subjects that I have no interest in whatsoever – in such a way, that I can’t stop reading. He finds comedy where ‘normal’ people see pain, worry and sadness. And that’s why English sense of humour is the best in the world!!! English find toilets hilarious, sex funny to extremes and laugh out at French at every opportunity. Nothing is too serious to be amusing.
When you think about life, there really aren’t many funny moments. Bills, crappy jobs, mean bosses, bitchy colleagues, nagging wives, lazy husbands, ungrateful children. It’s pain, taxes, diseases and death. But when all of those horrors are presented at a certain angle, it can be laugh-your-ass-off funny. Do you know what Eric Idle once said? Always look on the bright side of life. And you can do it with brilliant Jeremy Clarkson’s books. I guarantee that the moment you open one of them, you will be entertained. And you will laugh like crazy. Just like me.