HAVE YOU MET MS JONES?

When first published in 1996 Bridget Jones’s Diary created quite a stir among the female population. And it was all down to the novel’s main character – Bridget Jones, imperfect, insecure and loveable. This single gal’s troubled love life, unsuccessful career and constant grumbling of an overbearing mother have warmed out hearts to her from the start. Someone has finally revealed the struggles of thirty-something women.

And there are thousands of females who can relate to Bridget. If not to her unsuccessful attempts to lose weight or intensive abuse of alcohol and other substances, then at least to her obsessive quest to find Mr. Right. For who did not  try to find this elusive creature of dreams, at one point in their life?

In my humble opinion the women’s problem is obvious – we grew up believing there’s Prince Charming waiting for us just round the corner. All we need to do is to find him. And I blame fairy tale books and Disney films for giving us an unrealistic image of men. All handsome beyond compare, unbelievably rich and of royal blood. What more does a lass need? But there simply aren’t enough princes to go around!

Let me be honest here – all those dashing, smashing and dazzling Disney’s Honey Bunnies just drive me crazy! They are so bloody perfect it makes me sick! But let’s look closely at these paragons of virtue. Li Shang prefers Mulan as a boy and Captain John Smith has an unhealthy inclination for young girls. Aladdin is a homeless thief and a skillful liar, but he certainly knows how to set himself up in life. Hans from Frozen is a real master of deception and manipulation. He can soften a woman’s heart with his smooth talk and a charming disposition. And where in the world would you find a man who can’t recognize his love interest just because she can’t speak? As far as I remember Ariel did not undergo a vast plastic surgery – she looked exactly as on the day she saved Prince Eric. What about this shoe fetish in  Cinderella? Is the prince in love with the girl or he just covets her tiny feet? Apparently all that glitters is not gold! Unfortunately for us girls the world is full of Gastons, Jafars and La Fous. Sigh!

Although we know life is different from fairy tales, we still want our own Happily ever after. Walking down the aisle in a shimmering white dress to be united with a handsome man of our fantasies is our ultimate desire. To find our soul mate, this one special person to share our life with – everyone wants that. We are not meant to go through life alone. It is a dreary and at times hard process, best done with people who love us and care for us – whether it is a loving parent, a supportive friend or a devoted partner.

But let me come back to the world of Bridget Jones and talk about her love interest – Mark Fitzwilliam Darcy. He seems to have a stick up his sexy butt when we first meet him. He is standoffish and rude to a bit hangover Bridget at the turkey curry buffet. But those who bear the name of Darcy are known for that. In time we learn he’s not a villain but a misunderstood character, who deserves our sympathy and love. And you simply can’t be indifferent to Mark! He may be wearing a reindeer jumper at times but don’t be deceived – he’s sex on two legs! And beneath this cold exterior beats the heart of a hot lover who knows how to kiss a woman. And when he says that he likes Bridget just the way she is, your heart melts and you want to find your own Mr. Darcy.

I read Bridget Jones and Bridget Jones: the edge of reason and loved every word. So when I heard Helen Fielding decided to revisit Miss Jones’s world and give us another book about Bridget, I was thrilled. However, Bridget Jones: mad about the boy had such bad reviews among die-hard fans that I gave up on the idea of reading it. I only read a summary online to get some idea of the plot. I expected Bridget to be happily married to the man of her dreams and grow steadily old by his side.  I imagined her family to consist of 4 children, 7 cats and 3 dogs. I wanted to learn how wonderful Mark was as a husband and how Bridges coped with being a wife and a mother.

What I got was more than I could bear: botox filled Bridget Jones frantically seeking another man. And the devastating news of all: Mark Darcy was no more. He’s passed on! He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! He’s pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He’s off the twig! He’s kicked the bucket. He’s shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!!!

And this point I would like to thank Mr. John Cleese for allowing me to use his Dead parrot sketch to describe what exactly happened to Mr. Darcy.

Generally speaking, a world without Mark Fitzwilliam Darcy is not worth knowing. Therefore, I am happy the film creators deviated from the original book and went a different path to make a film, fans of Bridget Jones would like to see.

Bridget Jones’s Baby is a must-see. I loved every aspect of the plot and spent two hours laughing my head off. Renée Zellweger is the ultimate Jones – loveable and silly at times but that’s why we love her. Patrick Dempsey is a real hunk: handsome, dashing and gallant. It’s a small wonder Bridget loses her head for this eye candy.

And what can I say about Colin Firth, my favourite Mr. Darcy of all times? Age 56 and still sexy as hell. And his voice! Oh, Dear Lord! I could listen to him for hours!

I also love Emma Thompson as Dr. Rawlings. It is a great pity her screen time is so short. I wouldn’t mind seeing her character more. And there is Ben Willbond – my favourite Horrible Histories actor – in a role of Giles, Jude’s dishy hubby.

In my opinion the end of the third film is a nice round-up: Bridget gets the man of her dreams and a child to boot. She deserves her happily ever after. Just like any of us deserve our own. She is our favourite hero because she’s not perfect. She’s plump, clumsy, naïve and at times obnoxious. She blunders through her life in a drunken haze only to stumble across another Mr. Wrong. But she wins our hearts by being the way she is.

So if you plan on watching a romantic film on Valentine’s Day (with your significant other or by yourself) give Bridget Jones’s Baby a try. I am sure you will have a wonderful time.

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