It’s been a while since I posted anything on my blog. But my life was such a terrible mess for a while that blogging was the last thing on my mind. The sudden death of two of my relatives and an illness of my beloved mother shattered me completely. Needless to say, I lost my good humour and the ability to appreciate life or enjoy anything. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I was like a robot – I did what was necessary but without really noticing anything. I knew I had to shake myself out of this zombie-like state. The whole situation started to affect my physical and mental health.
But how can you cope with the shit that life has dropped on your head so suddenly. Well, change the attitude towards life! I am a typical woman – I worry about everything and everyone. I lie awake at night and imagine horrible things that may happen in the future. I often think about the past and wish I did some of the things differently. All of that makes me one hell of a stressed person. My partner calls me little Miss Worry-Too-Much.
The recent events made me rethink my attitude towards life and adopt a different philosophy called Here & Now. It means stop worrying about the future, forget about the past and concentrate on the present. After all, the past is gone and done with. It won’t be changed by wishful thinking. The future is uncertain and ever changing and no amount of anxiety can influence it. Here and now is what really matters!
I started my attitude alteration by trying to accept the fact that people die. It’s not easy, in fact, it’s the hardest thing to do. Especially when the person is very close to your heart and their demise is sudden and unexpected. Everyone has a different way of coping with this traumatic experience. I haven’t got a perfect technique to deal with the pain of loss but I find crying helpful. And I console myself with an old saying that time heals all wounds.
As for various illnesses, they are an inseparable part of human life. People break down and stop functioning properly. Their bodies try to cope with difficulties as best as they can. If it is a minor injury or illness then the recovery is fast. The problems start when it is a major malfunction. I think that the most important factor in recover is a patient’s attitude. Human body and mind are capable of astonishing feats. We often hear that people who were on death’s bed made a speedy and miraculous rally and regained their health to the astonishment of their doctors.
So it seems that our happiness and wellbeing have nothing to do with the problems we face. It’s how we choose to deal with them. There’s no use stressing over something we cannot control. We won’t escape problems but worrying about them day after day will only poison out life. All we’ve got is here and now. We shouldn’t spoil it, then.
We create out reality and although lots of things do not rest with us, our attitude towards them does. Remember! What we are afraid of and worry about may never come true. And there is no problem that cannot be solved one way or another.
Slow down. Stop and look up at the sky. Breathe some fresh air into your lungs and be grateful for the things you’ve got. Enjoy small matters. Do whatever makes you happy. Smile. Before you go to bed think about all the things you managed to achieve during the day. And when you wake up in the morning be glad you’ve got a new day in front of you.
Surround yourself with kind and positive people. Avoid those who are negative. When you delete the unnecessary people from your life, good things will start to happen and it won’t be a coincidence. After all, life is too short to waste it on emotional parasites. It’s better to be alone than in a harmful relationship.
Love yourself and do not betray your ideals and beliefs. It’s easier to look at your own face in the mirror when you are true to yourself. Always believe in yourself even if no-one else does. People are made of much sterner stuff that they imagine. And what does not kill you makes you stronger.
I know there are days, weeks or even months when we feel we can’t go on because the burden of our problems is too much to bear. However, once you reach the bottom, you can only bounce back. People who suffered a lot know that very few things can shake them now.
In conclusion, always love, always hope and always have faith. And if all else fails grab a bar of chocolate. 😉