The cold weather outside makes me think of TRIPLE S: sea, sand and the sun. All of that can be found in Turkey – an exotic and picturesque country famous for its historical places and rich culture. It is a place where East meets West and forms a beautiful and unique combination. Personally, I was drawn to Turkey by the magnificence of the Mediterranean Sea and visions of long walks along sandy beaches. I chose Alanya for its natural attractions and a mild climate – the weather here is always perfect during summer! In my opinion a clear blue sky and a gentle lull of the sea is a guarantee of a  good relaxation.

Alanya is a typical beach resort city with lots of comfortable hotels, restaurants that serve interesting and tasty dishes and numerous shops that offer a wide range of merchandise. You can buy here anything your heart desires: aromatic herbs and spices, tasty teas and coffees, fragrance oils, colourful scarves, delicious sweets, stylish clothes and accessories, sexy beachwear and so on and so forth.

You might also be tempted to purchase some leather goods because local shops are crammed with them. Turkey is probably the best place to buy quality leather and prices are much lower than in other countries. Leather jackets, coats, bags, shoes, skirts, dresses, wallets and belts beckon from shop displays to unsuspecting passers-by. The moment you cross a shop’s threshold you are lost. At the mere sight of all those enticing items, neatly stacked on clothing racks, you instinctively reach for your wallet. Needless to say my female holiday companions went completely crazy for leather jackets and I had to spend 2 hours in a hot shop admiring their chosen items and trying to understand their overemotional attitude towards leather. I was the only one who left Turkey without a leather jacket, but I already had two waiting for me at home.

The hotel we stayed in was in a close proximity to the beach – we only had to cross the road to find ourselves by the sea. The staff was polite and enormously helpful. We didn’t like the room we spent our first night in, but there was no problem with changing it. I am a bit claustrophobic and never get into the lift by myself. The lift boy from the hotel learned about it and whenever he was on duty, he always travelled with me so I didn’t have to use the stairs. And there were lots of stairs to climb up in order to reach our 6th floor rooms. I lost several kilos running up and down them.

Cleopatra Beach, Alanya’s pride and joy, is always teeming with sunbathing bodies of all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it is hard to find a free space, big enough to roll out a towel. I am not a great sunbathing enthusiast and I consider burning myself to a cinder as a silly way of spending time. Therefore, I usually go the beach when the sun loses its frying powers and most of the holidaymakers are in a bar, drinking themselves silly.

However, in Alanya the seashore is also busy in the evening. Every inch of the beach is taken up by arching and bending ladies and photographers who try to capture their models’ silhouettes in the setting sun. Even I allowed myself to be persuaded into taking a part in a photo shoot during which I was asked to:

  • grab a tree trunk and look sexy
  • lie down on the grass and look sexy,
  • sit on a bench in a park with a sexy look on my face
  • splash in a fountain in a sexy way
  • take off my clothes and run up and down the beach in my bikini in a sexy way

I nearly lost my panties when the wave covered me from head to toe. I can say one thing for sure – it is damn hard to look sexy when your swimsuit is full of sand! The photo shoot wasn’t entirely a big failure, although I couldn’t stop laughing. The mere thought of me modelling and trying to strike a sexy pose was hilarious. However, my photographer was highly professional and extremely patient and the results were jaw-dropping. I can safely say that the money wasn’t wasted.

In the evening social life in Alanya starts for good. City’s clubs and restaurants fill up with scantily dressed, sun kissed bodies ready to party. But with the average temperature of 35 degrees Celsius by day it is hardly surprising that people come out at night. The city parks and walks are full of happy people enjoying themselves. Alanya is a place you can’t be sad or gloomy.

However, I found out that there’s a darker side to this holiday paradise and it manifests itself in several ways. To begin with, the beach is a dangerous place to be at night because lots of drunken people end up there – they are too smashed to find a way to their hotel apartments.

There are people who try to live out their sexual fantasies and have hot sex on the beach. I saw a couple who wanted to do it standing in the sea. But they must have miscalculated the time and overestimated their strength because the high tide knocked them over every time they tried to find a comfortable position. One must admire their determination – they had several goes before deciding to do it in the sand. I am ashamed to admit that I found the lovers’ ordeal extremely hilarious, but I did not stay to see the end of this X-rated story. I run straight to the hotel with an incredible tale to tell.

The Cleopatra Beach is also a meeting place of local waiters and their pick-ups. Young European girls who just want to have fun, lose their virginity to one-night stands, with the sound of sea waves in the background. Somehow I do not find it romantic in the least. And here’s the rub of the Turkish adventure – Turkish men! You meet them everywhere: in hotels, shops and restaurants, on the street, on the beach and in the park. And if you are a single lady in Turkey (and by single I mean not accompanied by a man), Turkish men assume they can be intrusive and take liberties with you. I don’t mind an occasional compliment from a stranger (if it is well deserved), but I do not like to be treated like a prospective one-night stand. Especially when I don’t seek that kind of attention. Incredible as it might be, losing myself in the arms of a Turk was not the purpose of my visit!

One must remember that Turkey is more conservative than most European countries. It means lots of young couples do not have sex before marriage. Sometimes a man can date for several years without any kind of physical contact. That’s why an easy and willing female tourist can be a sole salvation for a sexually frustrated and determined Turk.

Waiters have ample opportunities to find their preys. Hotels are full of desperate women who dream of holiday romance and are not afraid of sexual adventures (and sexually transmitted diseases). Shop assistants also find it easy to smooth-talk a female customer into a date. A promise of a discount, a small gift here and a sweet compliment there and they think you are boiled on flattery.

I know it must be hard for Turkish men to be celibate before marriage. However they must remember that some women come to their country to rest, have fun, buy some stuff and go back home with a suntan and nice photos. Chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhoea might not be on their list of things-to-do-in-Turkey.

The best way to nip any unwanted advances of local Don Juans in the bud is to say No! But the problem is they do not take No! for an answer, even if they hear it several times. And no amount of Thank you. I am not interested! will get you out of their clutches.  In the end, I pretended not to understand them or ignored them completely, and it worked. And if someone really bothered me I used my favourite naughty expression and told them to s.. off!

In spite of these few unfortunate incidents, I look back on my Turkish adventure with a smile on my face. The weather was fantastic, the food was delicious and the city exotic, enticing and entertaining. There were lots of things to see and experience. I had a wonderful time there with my crazy gang of females. I would love to come back to Turkey once again. However, the current political situation makes it unsafe (at least for me) to travel to this lovely country. I know there are some reckless people who are tempted by cheap holiday offers, but I believe that it is better to be safe than sorry. Europe has got many beautiful places to see. There’s no need to risk your life, and the lives of your nearest and dearest, just to save some money on a holiday ticket.

Kizil Kule – Red Tower

Alanya Castle

The city’s harbour

A beautiful white lighthouse

Cleopatra Beach seen from the sea

You can try out your sea legs on one of the vessels

The captain of Black Pearl – Jack Sparrow

(Almost) original Jack Sparrow

The castle walls look impressive

Mediterranean Sea – the most perfect shade of blue

My typical beach outfit

Playing hide and seek with my camerawoman

Inside the mosque

Beautiful flower motifs on the ceiling

The only male I got friendly with

His favourite pastime was biting my fingers

Beautiful sunset in Alanya

The comings ….

… and goings of the sea

When the sun’s away tourists come out and play













Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *